Always Choose Love

October 27, 2015

This really is the essence of it all, isn’t it?

To choose Love.

Over and over and over again. And when we don’t, which of course, will also happen many times, then to choose love toward ourselves and one other again. And again. It is the essence of forgiveness. The beginning of renewal and healing. The action that is a response, that is creative, rather than reactive.
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Learning through Imitation – What kind of model am I?

June 14, 2015

Isn’t this just the loveliest photo? I can look at it for ages. It says so much. The joy expressed, the inspiration given, the aspiration, the moments that happen between what our children see and what they do.

dancing girl

Children learn primarily through imitation. We are their models and guides. For better or for worse. Read more

Shift in Perspective: A Key Ingredient to Parent Consciously

So much about approaching parenting as a spiritual practice involves shifts in perspective…

The shift from “It’s all happening to me” to “What choices am I going to make?”

The shift from being consumed by / immersed in my own perspective to considering my child’s perspective. How does the world look like, feel like from his/her viewpoint? Read more

Nourishing Yourself in the Middle of Parenting

Dearest fellow parents and caregivers,

Today I’d like to tell you about something so simple, and yet that can change our days and lives as parents, moment by creative moment.

Yesterday afternoon I was picking up A. from her dance class. The evening sun was soft and warm. There is a lovely bench just in front of the dance studio, so instead of waiting in the car, I got out and sat on it, soaking in the spring smells and light. My gaze wandered across all the other parents waiting.

Here’s what I saw: Read more

Dear Mothers ~ I See You

Dearest mothers ~ keepers of the Hearth ~ mothers of children, mothers of Life, mothering ones,

Yesterday a fellow mother surprised me with a beautiful bouquet of flowers. She looked me straight in the eyes and thanked me for the mother I am. She wished me a happy Mother’s Day, and in a few words, she expressed that she sees me in my mothering.

I stood there, heart filled by this unexpected and thoughtful gesture, tears welling up as I felt seen by this lovely friend, just like that. Seen. What a gift.

And that is what I want to share with you today: that I see you. Read more

Held in the Great Embrace

As I became a mother and experienced the vulnerability, the cracked-openness and the simultaneous demand by Life to gradually release my daughter as she ventured out into the world in ever-increasing circles, I asked my mother, “How did you manage that? To let us go, to not worry too much, to not stifle us with your fears and protective instincts?”

She gave me a reply that has stayed with me, that guides, comforts and strengthens me in my mothering and my letting go.  Read more

Inspired by Moments of Emotional Brilliance — Tender and Tuned In: Part 3

Here’s the third and final vignette in my three-part blog series on delightful expressions of emotional health and capacity in children, ones that surprise and hearten us amidst the journey of helping them develop emotional intelligence (you can find the first one here> and the second one here>). This one was shared with me by a fellow mother about her daughter:

Since she is little, Maggie loves visiting stores with cuddly, soft stuffies, pretty shiny things, cute booklets, dollies, and the wide array of beautiful, creative toys and trinkets available in certain stores – these things make their way into her heart on a weekly basis when she goes to town with her mother. For the past few years, each time they are in town, she has felt compelled to get something, one thing. Sometimes her mother has acquiesced. Other times she hasn’t. Quietly her mother has wondered (and at times worried) why her daughter feels such a need to have and get all this stuff. “Have we raised her too materialistically?” “Why this drive to consume?” “She has so much already”. Read more

Inspired by Moments of Emotional Brilliance — Tender and Tuned In: Part 2

Here’s the second vignette from my three-part blog series about delightful expressions of emotional health and capacity in children, ones that surprise and hearten us amidst the journey of helping them develop emotional intelligence (you can read the first one here>):

It’s a golden late summer’s day. My daughter — 11 now — steps on a lazy wasp while playing with a bundle of kittens she is fostering from the local animal shelter. Startled by the immediate and powerful sensation of pain zipping through her foot, she tries to shake it off, and gets stung a second time. Read more

Inspired by Moments of Emotional Brilliance — Tender and Tuned In: Part 1

Children rely on our support and guidance in navigating the emotional ups and downs of life. Developing emotional intelligence takes time and is an ongoing journey for every human being. And yet our children sometimes also surprise us with delightful expressions of emotional health and capacity.

Over the past few months I have witnessed a few of those and find myself heartened every time I ponder them. I’d like to share some of them with you in a three-part blog series. May these vignettes encourage you too. May they inspire you. And help you notice the gems that may be happening right in front of you.

Here’s the first one: Read more

Ode to the Elasticity of the Mother Heart

I was a real family girl as a kid… well attached, loved my family to bits, substantially more prone to homesickness than my siblings. I remember the feeling of being curled up with my mama as one of the most all-encompassing experiences of complete goodness and safety.

And now? I live a long ways away from them. An ocean and a continent lie between us — about 8329.41 km (or 5175.67 miles)!

Home has shifted. My new family is now “home.” My daily heart-orientation circles around them, even as I still dearly love and appreciate my family of origin, and cherish our rare times together in person.

Such is the common story of growing up, of course, while taking place in all styles and variations. Generally this is how it goes: we start out close with and fully dependent on our parents. We grow up. We move away and make our own lives.

Now here’s the thing: Up until becoming a mother myself, I never fully appreciated just what that meant for the parent, and in this instance, for my mother. Read more